Craziness
by skog dansare
Summary: Aphrodite gets mad when someone breaks up with her son Eros, and so Artemis and Athena have to hurry to find him a new girl before Aphrodite does something drastic! Please Review!
1. Aphrodite's Wrath

Artemis made her way through Aphrodite's dressing room, gingerly picking her way thorugh the innumerable make-up bottles. She had potentially bad news.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Aphrodite's beautiful face had twisted into a scowl.

Artemis began to back away slowly. "I'm sorry- I didn't realize it was such a big deal if someone broke up with your son…"

'It is a very big deal! No-one does that! The beautiful people are supposed to break up with the people they are nice enough to date! Not the other way around! And my son is definitely one of the beautiful people." Aphrodite began to hyperventilate a little.

Artemis continued to back away, stopping to drink some of the heavily disputed liquid in her hip flask. It was rumored to be anything from heavy alcohol to water, but it certainly made her run fast as Aphrodite began throwing random make-up bottles around her dressing-room.

Artemis had expected something like this, and she rolled her eyes as she made her way on the air currents above the earth. She was going to visit Athena, who was receiving sacrifices at her temple in Athens, while helping out the oracle at Delphi- se had always been a multi-tasker.

Artemis coasted in, and said, "Hi big sis! That girl Arete broke up with Eros, and is working on king Alcinous. I didn't even tell Aphrodite the last part before she freaked out on me. I need you to come help- you've always been better at calming her down."

"Okay," said Athena. "If I have to. I guess if we're really going to calm her down we have to get Eros another girlfriend. I'll head over there now. That idiot can't even hold down Arete. It must be his baby fat- he never was as chiseled as your twin."

Artemis laughed, "Okay, I'm on it! Let the crazy girlfriend hunt begin!" As she coasted off, Athena heard her mutter under her breath- Being a virgin is so much better…it must be the Ares in him that makes all the girls run. That would really do it."


	2. The Search Begins

Chapter 2: The Search Begins

Artemis was still grumbling as she coasted off. She was heading for Thebes- it was a big city, and so there were plenty of mortal girls. She knew that they would probably want another daughter of a king, but Eros was lucky to even be getting her service at all. It was a beautiful day- she should be out hunting! Deer, that is, not women. She felt like being invisible- Thebes hadn't seen a god or goddess in a while, so she figured she should keep a low profile. She thought about what she would be. How could she get the most information out of the contestants? Because surely, attempting to win the love of a god would turn into a contest. She finally transfigured into a young woman, much like how she looked normally, except not as pretty- she didn't people getting jealous; that could get messy. She needed a conversation piece, something that would make possible for her ask random questions….ah! She would simply dress in the traditional clothing of someone who lived in the countryside of Thebes. She could pretend she was visiting, and wanted to figure out how people in the city should act. Beyond that , she would just hope they were nice girls, and would answer the random questions. She could smite them to kingdom come if she wanted to, and she would!

Artemis started on the very main market street of Thebes. She figured she could weed out the possibilities from afar. All of the annoying, high maintenance people would be at home, having sent the nice ones to buy things. Eros though, being the snot that he is, probably wouldn't care whether they were nice or not, as long as they were beautiful and loaded. Keeping this in mind, Artemis, in her traveler's garb, headed into the marketplace, keeping sure not to float above the ground as she usually did.

She stepped right out into the middle of the marketplace, and turned in a slow circle. People gave her some odd looks, but what the heck, she was so not the weirdest one out there. She spotted a likely possibility, and walked over. The girl was buying fish at the grocer's. Artemis walked right up and said, "Hi! How old are you?"

The girl gave her a strange look, and then, glancing around furtively, said, "If you really wanted to know, I found this youth potion in Hera's temple. I am actually 42, but don't I look gorgeous?!"

Artemis took a step back. This was going to be harder than she thought. She replied, "Um, okay, great, bye!" she was going to have to talk with Hera about a couple of things…"


	3. The Search Continues

Chapter 3, The Search Continues

Artemis rolled her eyes as she continued on her way through the market. Sometimes she forgot how crazy her cousins and step-moms were. Marrying within the family could do that to a god. Or goddess, as the case may be.

Artemis decided to head north, as it looked more crowded up there, probably owing to the fact that the jewelry vendors were located there. As she walked up, she heard numerous squeals as baubles and precious stones were placed on the small counters. She eyed a couple, but the workmanship didn't compare to that of her half-brother, Hephaestus. She was wearing a bracelet by him before she changed. That would have attracted attention without her godly glow- it was thoroughly encrusted with moonstone and sapphire, but enchanted to weigh almost nothing, so that she could wear it while hunting.

She walked up to the vendor that seemed to have the most young women crowding around him, and approached a girl with long brown hair up in a bun, with a strand of pearls looped throughout. Artemis tapped her on the shoulder and said, "Good morning, I'm…" She racked her brain for a suitable alias, finally deciding on, "Adelpha. I'm new to Thebes and I was wondering…"

She was cut off. The girl had turned around, showing a dainty, but pig-like upturned nose. "I'm sorry, but did you just touch my silk robes? They are the newest design, and you decide to put dirt all over them? Oh my gods- go away you mule!"

Artemis raised her eyebrows. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. Next time, though, be careful about who you call a mule." And with that, she tapped the girl on her snow-white toga, and walked away. When she had gone a couple steps, she heard a scream as the girl looked down to see her now mud-caked dress. Artemis smiled to herself, and disappeared in the crowds.

She had only gone a couple more steps, but wanted to be sure that she never set eyes on that nightmare again!


End file.
